Culture Shock I Didn’t Expect After Moving Abroad

 

 

Moving Abroad at 13—Without a Vote

Nothing prepared me for the culture shock after moving abroad — some moments were funny, others just plain awkward. I moved to the U.S. in 2013 with my parents. Not with a plan, not for a job, and definitely not by choice.

I was just 13 years old — which, if you’ve ever met a desi teenager, means I had zero say in the decision. One day I was complaining about school lunch in India, and the next I was on a flight to a place where everyone called it “cafeteria food” and asked if I wanted ranch dressing.

Let’s just say… nothing could’ve prepared me for what came next.

Here are 7 culture shocks that hit me the hardest — and still stay with me, even years later.

1. No Shoes Inside? But Wait, They Do Wear Shoes Inside?!

This one made my brain short-circuit.

In India, taking off your shoes before entering any home is a ritual. Even the delivery guy knows it. But here in the U.S., I saw people casually strolling into their living rooms with sneakers, muddy boots, even snow-covered shoes.

But then… some people did remove their shoes. So which is it?
Are we removing shoes, or running a footpath through the carpet?

Eventually, I realized: there’s no single rule — it depends on the household. I learned the hard way when I walked barefoot into a house with hardwood floors in winter. Instant regret.

2. People Don’t Stare. And Don’t Care.

In India, I couldn’t sneeze in public without three aunties analyzing my soul.

But here?
No one stared.
No one cared.
And at first, that felt… lonely.

Whether you’re wearing pajama pants to the grocery store, or trying to open a push door by pulling three times in a row — no one bats an eye. You’re invisible, in a weirdly peaceful way.

Eventually, I grew to love the freedom. But I still kinda miss the chaos of being noticed for no reason.

3. Silence Is the Default Setting

Ever taken a crowded elevator in the U.S.?

It’s quieter than a library.

Coming from India, where even your neighbor’s phone conversation becomes your business, this was bizarre. On buses, trains, even classrooms — people kept to themselves, headphones in, no eye contact.

It’s not rudeness. It’s just… the way things are.

Now I find it oddly comforting. But 13-year-old me thought I had accidentally muted real life.

4. Tipping Gave Me Existential Anxiety

Tipping in India = rounding up the bill at a restaurant.

Tipping in the U.S. = mental math gymnastics while your server waits awkwardly.

Do I tip 15%? 18%? 20%?
What if the food was bad but the service was good?
What if I just ordered coffee??

Nobody taught me these rules — they just expected me to know. I once under-tipped and felt like I committed a federal crime.

Now, I overtip just to avoid the stress.

For more on staying connected to your heritage, check out Holding On While Letting Go.

5. You Have to Do Everything Yourself

This one hit my parents harder, but it definitely trickled down to me.

Back in India, there was someone to help with everything — groceries, gas, cooking, repairs, even ironing your school uniform.

Here?
It’s DIY or die trying.

You pump your own gas.
You bag your own groceries.
You shovel your own driveway.
You assemble your own furniture with confusing IKEA diagrams and silent tears.

It was a humbling upgrade in responsibility. I now know how to survive solo — but I still miss the “just call someone” culture.

6. Personal Space Is Sacred

Forget standing shoulder-to-shoulder in line.

Here, if you’re not at least one full shopping cart away from the person ahead, you’re invading their soul.

This was hard to get used to. I remember leaning in to talk to someone and watching them subtly back away like I had cooties.

Turns out, Americans value personal space like desis value chai. Once you learn it, you respect it. (Mostly.)

7. Neighbors Don’t Say Hello?

This one really hurt.

In India, we knew the names of our neighbors, their kids, their dog, their dog’s diet, and what time they put out laundry.

In the U.S.?
You might live next to someone for 10 years and never speak a word.

At first, I thought they hated us.
Then I realized… it’s not personal. It’s just cultural.

Now I’ve made peace with the occasional polite wave. But I still believe we need more “chai and chat” in our communities.

Final Thoughts: Culture Shock Isn’t Always Loud

The biggest shocks weren’t dramatic — they were the quiet, everyday things.
The routines. The expectations. The unspoken rules.

Looking back, they shaped me. They taught me to observe more, assume less, and adapt faster than I thought I could.

I still carry bits of India with me. But I’ve also picked up parts of this new world.
That blend? It’s what makes the Desi Abroad experience unique — and worth sharing.

You may also like Indian Traditions To Keep Living Abroad, where I share personal habits that keep me close to home.